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🎞️ “Undeniably Uncertain"

I am terrified. It is the only constant. But I am ok...

I feel like part of my calling in life is to help others in any and every way possible, even if I am given the “burnt match”, I should go through whatever the downside is, no matter what. I can take away hurt or struggle or pain from someone else, so long as I accept that they don’t have to feel the pain or feel the need for anything other than the reluctant relief that things have fallen into place for them… I’ll be your guardian angel in that sense. :)

I’ll fall apart so you can fall into place.

Love wont feel like fighting to be chose, it will feel like home.... and I want to go home....so badly.

Iv been lost and alone and afraid, most every waking day, but it’s not bad at all. I’m grateful that I can have this time in this world, ever long or short. There’d be balance somewhere I hope, for every uncomfortable pain of a moment experienced there is an equal and opposite fantastic pleasure of an experience to tip the teeter totter… there is a tilting somewhere across the way.

This fear is the only thing I own that is reliable. Or maybe the feeling owns me..Iv proven time and time again that I can not count on myself, nor another, but the bones of my subconscious have built this reliable and unwavering dysfunctional person that is me. With all good intentions.

If fear owns me little old me it holds me close, I don't control it, the terror, the fear pushes me in directions I never intend to stay. It wont ever let me go, but my leash is untethered.

I don't think i'll ever understand this since of worry people have for me, I feel like a side show, one most pass by, but the few that stop stay while entertained. I wont stay long enough for ease or comfort. It’s funny and ironic that I’m a matinee for the many who will to watch and praise the survival in me, and wish ease and hope for good fortune, but at the weight of a dime on them will say “I can’t bare to watch” and do nothing, and refuse involvement, for my sake. I’ll excuse the excuses.

Forget your thoughts or intentions, I wont let you close enough to solicit me.

When the space between hums with static,
the kind that only clears when you’re near.Say you don't have space for me, no space for any kind of dependency,
it stings more than I'll admit. I am welcomed in, but of everyone in your life It's me you wont commit.

Instead of something human, something real, it felt like I was fading into the background of your frame,
like I was someone you could crop out.

And still, I'll light up when I see you.
Still, there's things I want to show you,
moments saved like undeveloped film,
waiting for the right light to bring them to life.

I don’t know if there’s someone else.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just another story you’re skimming through.
But I’m not a book you can pick up and put down.
I’m not a scene filler or a quiet background song.
I’m the kind that lingers when the credits roll.

All I know is being on my own.
Freedom fits me, mostly.
But there’s something about you—
the way you pull focus without even trying—
that makes me forget how good solitude can feel.

Don’t think I want you too much.
I just let myself feel what’s real,
while you stay safe behind the lens.

Even from far away, I feel the sharp pull of you—
like we’re two hands,
right and left,
meant to meet, but missing the grip.

I’m not asking to be your everything.
I just want to be your something. Something worth not leaving behind.

You once said you’d take me places—
show me the world through your eyes.
I still want to be shown by you.

But lately, I lose my words around you—
the kind that could make or break a day.
I try to stay composed,
but my calm keeps slipping,
so I turn quiet instead.

You missed out on the broken me, you'v gotten to have what was pieced back together.

If you would have know how many pieces I had crumbled into you might have let them lay.

We’ve both been emotionally distracted, half-present, and never romantic.
haunted by what-ifs and almosts.
But when we’re together,
there’s a kind of stillness—
like the world finally frames itself right.

Maybe it’s easier to drift than to dock,
to sail without anchor than risk being tied.
But love isn’t safe, 
It’s an exposure—
and the picture only develops if you let the light in.

So don’t chase what’s fleeting.
Don’t scatter your devotion.
Lay your love here.

I’ll meet you with honesty,
with effort,
with the best of me—no filters, no edits.

Neither of us is to blame for what this is.
It just is.— undeniably, without uncertainty.
and that’s rare.

If you want me,
say so.
Show me.

Because I already feel you—
even in silence. I know what I feel.

Undeniably.

Written how you could say it out loud, softly and real, like something that would stay in your head afterward. It flows naturally and keeps that mix of vulnerability and quiet confidence that draws within.

I put this here knowing it will never be read because this corner of my life (on this page) is without action. lol

My name is Amy

All designs were designed and created by me. Small business baby!

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